The Life Fate Wanted
by ChelzToddBrooke
Summary: Fate could keep them together forever, Harm said it himself. But what if fate had more in store for them than they could've ever hoped? The prequel to "Appreciating Fate"
1. The Phone Call

A/N Ok, so everyone has been asking for more of the "Appreciating Fate" Story. And you are in luck! As it turns out, I've been working on a prequel for some time. I have 3 chapters ready to post and many more mostly complete, but I wanted to get the first one up and see how it goes over before I post the others. Please note in this one, I ignore Mattie's accident. So it is AU

When I finished watching the series, I started two post series fics. The other one addresses Mattie's accident and how the couple responds to that. I hope to get it posted soon as well, so be looking for it if you're interested. :)

* * *

Harm couldn't keep from touching her. He didn't even know he was doing it sometimes. Holding hands. A hand on the small of her back. An arm hooked around her waist or shoulders. Or even the idle stroking of her arm or back as she stood next to him. It was compulsive. He figured it was some strange after effect of nine years of not being able to touch her like that. He was thrilled that was no longer the case as he found himself with an arm wrapped around her waist, one large hand splayed over her taught stomach, pulling her back against his hip. She was laughing at something his mother had said. They'd just gotten married that morning and were in the midst of a reception and farewell party before they left for San Diego the following evening.

"Mac, your phone is ringing," Chloe announced, offering her the cordless.

Harm looked down at his new bride, raising his eyebrows in question. She shrugged, she wasn't expecting a call.

"Excuse me," she said to Trish, pushing out of Harm's hold. "Be right back," she added, rolling on to her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips before finding a quiet place to take the call.

Mac stared down at the phone in her hand. If this hadn't already been the wildest week of her life that phone call would have put it over the top. Her eyes caught on the rings on her left hand. Last week this decision would have been hers alone, but as of eight hours ago, she had someone else to consider. She needed to talk to Harm.

He was right where she left him, talking with his mother. Mattie had joined them.

"Mac!" The teenager greeted.

"Hey Mattie," Mac smiled, pulling the girl into a hug. "I'm so glad you could make it today." Getting married in the middle of the week was a strange affair. Pulling people away from work and out of school was not without its challenges.

"Well, I couldn't miss my Navy dad's wedding," she sent a playful look in Harm's direction. "Plus now I get extra time to study for my bio test," she shrugged. Harm rolled his eyes. The girl still didn't love high school, despite the fact that she was excelling at it.

"Do you guys mind if I steal Harm for a second?" She asked, reaching for her new husband's hand. His eyes went wide, concerned. She was sure he was curious about her phone call.

"Honey, you don't have to steal him, he's yours now," Trish replied with a wink. Mac enjoyed the way Harm's cheeks went pink at his mother's teasing.

"I'll be back," he dismissed himself to the two women.

Mac tugged him into what was left of her bedroom so they could have some privacy.

"Sit down," she instructed and for once in his life, Harm did as he was told. He took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Mac, are you ok?" He asked, looking up at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were alight. She seemed nervous, but excited and he wasn't sure how to take it. "Who was on the phone?"

"How do you feel about kids?" She blurted.

"In general or with you?" He thought she knew the answer to both of those questions. He had agreed to father her child awhile back.

"How would you feel about having a kid _now_?_" _She clarified. Harm was confused by the question. His mind whirred in a million directions. If she was pregnant, it wouldn't be his. They'd only started sleeping together a few days prior and there would be no way to detect pregnancy that soon. Plus, he thought her endometriosis curbed that possibility and would make it very difficult for them going forward, which was why he thought it would be strange for her to be randomly discussing pregnancy. Unless that phone call...

"Who was on the phone?" He repeated dumbly.

"A friend of mine who works for a child advocacy group I do some pro bono work for. She heard from one of her counters in Europe is looking for parents for a newborn orphaned by two naval officers. Apparently my name came up as a match."

"But how?" He was curious about how she ended up on their radar at all.

"Since my diagnosis, I've been exploring my options," she shrugged. She had every intention of telling him this, but they'd been together all of three days and most of that had been consumed by sex and wedding planning.

"When do we leave?" He asked. He wanted children with Mac. But he was prepared to wait a long time since their options were medical treatments for her endometriosis, surrogacy, or adoption and none of those were quick processes. So he wasn't about to hesitate when someone was practically handing them a baby.

"Wait, what?" She'd been expecting him to have a million questions.

"When do we need to be in Europe? And where, more importantly? I'll start making some calls."

"London. And you're serious?" Mac was shocked by his impulsiveness. That was twice in one week he'd thrown caution to the wind. Maybe what he said was true, he just needed a deadline.

"It's a baby, Mac. Could be _our_ baby." He grinned, reaching a hand out an pulling her between his legs. "I made you a promise, I plan to keep it," he whispered against her lips.

"Well, you're a little late," she teased, kissing him gently.

"Better late than never," Harm returned with a cheeky smile.

"The Harmon Rabb Jr. life motto," Mac quipped, stepped away from him and pulling him back to his feet.

"Wait…" he tugged her back towards him.

"Something wrong?" her dark eyes went round with concern. She probably thought he'd changed his mind.

"Not wrong…" he shook his head. " It's just…I don't know if we should tell anyone just yet,_" _his throat worked to swallow past a sudden buildup of anxiety. "What if it doesn't…" he trailed off. Mac nodded, she knew what he was thinking. Adoption was risky and full of uncertainties and given the lack of details they had and the whole ocean between them and this baby, Harm's concern wasn't unwarranted.

"I know," she breathed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Maybe we keep it to ourselves. At least until we have more details."

"Yeah, they've had a enough big news from us for a couple days," he chuckled.


	2. Arriving In London

**A/N: Chapter 2 and 3 are shorties, so I am posting them back to back. I need to add a little more to Chapter 4, but it should be posted this week some time. :) I'm glad you are enjoying this story! (Also, I know next to nothing about the adoption process, so please excuse my creative license)**

* * *

"Mac…"Harm started as he watched his new wife dig through her suitcase. Since the coin toss at McMurphy's he felt like someone had hit fast forward on his life and had yet to let up. A week ago, he was moving to London to take up his post as force judge advocate for Naval Forces Europe. Now, he'd made it to London, but for reasons almost completely separate from the Navy. In the meantime, he'd gotten married, prepared himself to move to San Diego with his new wife, and written his resignation papers. He'd only been disappointed by the result of the coin toss for a moment. The familiar tug of the Navy beckoned him, but all it took was one look at the beautiful woman in his arms to dispel that feeling. He'd given it all up for her once before; and he now realized he would do it over and over again if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with her. But that hardly mattered at the moment. She never reported for duty and he had yet to resign. Those plans were on hold in lieu of a more pressing need: A baby in need of parents.

He could hardly believe he was sitting in a hotel room in London, freshly married to Lt. Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, waiting to go meet a little boy who would hopefully bear his name. He was so afraid it was all a dream he was going to wake up from at any moment. But in order to wake up, one actually has to sleep, something he nor Mac had done in days.

"Mac..." he tried again, noticing his wife had obviously found what she was looking for in her suitcase and moved to the small desk near the window where she was currently organizing paperwork. She continued to ignore him. _"Sarah."_ He switched tactics, knowing her given name held more weight. Finally her dark eyes flicked up to meet his. "Please come get some rest," he urged.

"I'm fine, I slept on the plane," she replied with a dismissive shrug of her shoulders. He was too tired to hold back the bark of laughter. She leveled him with a glare, but he brushed her off. There was no heat behind it. They both knew she was lying. She had been restless the entire flight. He could feel her practically vibrating with nervous energy in the seat next to him. She set the papers down and stood from the desk. "I want to see him, Harm," she admitted.

"I know, and so do I. But we don't meet with his advocate until tomorrow morning. There is nothing we can do to expedite that, so we might as well get some sleep," he mentioned gently, watching her fists clench and unclench. She was a Marine, unused to unmovable obstacles. "Just a couple hours of rack time," he pleaded, opening his arms to her. With another heavy sigh, she surrendered. She shuffled across the room and crawled onto the bed next to him.

Mac laid her head on Harm's chest and tried to let some of the tension out of her body. She would feel better once she set eyes on the baby. They submitted the paperwork for temporary guardianship to the child's advocate before they even left the US. The paperwork had been filed with the appropriate authorities and they would find out tomorrow if they were approved. From there they would start the official adoption process.

"Harm?" she asked softly. She knew he hadn't nodded off yet, but was close. She felt his hummed response rumble through his chest. "Do you think he's our baby?"

Harm heard the worry in his wife's voice. In a strange way, it filled him with warmth. He was one of a privileged few who were allowed to see her vulnerabilities, and it'd been that way since they'd met. He'd been less willing to return the favor, but she had her ways of getting past his walls. "Of course he is," he replied automatically. There was very little doubt in his mind.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, lifting her head to meet his eyes.

"He's the son of a naval aviator," Harm grinned. He was pleased with himself as he watched her fight off a smile.

"Harm, be serious," she admonished, burying her face in his shoulder to stifle her laugh.

"What are the chances you get the call less than a week after we get married? He's meant for us, Mac. I told you fate could keep us together forever. Now it's going to make us a family." He amended, knowing she would be more satisfied with that answer. However, for him, his first answer was more accurate. The fact that he and this child were both sons of fallen aviators touched his soul. It was his own personal sign that fate had a hand in this. "Any more pressing questions?" he asked, the last word nearly disappearing in a yawn.

"No, that's enough for now Flyboy, you've earned your sleep," she chuckled.


	3. First Thoughts

Harm nearly bowled Mac over as he tried to follow her out of the hotel room. For some reason she had stopped short and was standing unyieldingly in the doorway. He let out a combination of a yelp and a grunt as he caught himself on the doorframe and caught her around the waist, narrowly preventing them from being a pile of limbs on the floor.

"Forget something?" he asked, assuming that was why she had stopped.

"What?" she asked, blinking up at him. She seemed confused as to when he got so close. "Let's just…" she motioned back towards the hotel room. He shuffled them back across the threshold and closed the door.

"Mac, are you ok?" He'd noticed she'd been a little off all morning, but he chalked it up to anxiety. They had a big day ahead.

"Should we be doing this?" she asked vaguely, moving out of his hold.

"Leaving? Yes. Our appointment in is in an hour," he reminded, reaching for her again, but she sidestepped him.

"Sixty three minutes and seventeen seconds," Mac corrected, dismissively. "But that's not what I mean. I mean, big picture, should we be doing this?"

"How big picture are we talking? Just adopting this baby, or our life together in general? Are you having second thoughts?" Harm's heart sank. The feeling of his life being on fast forward suddenly slammed to an unsettling stop.

"No!" she gasped. She was certain she wanted to be with him, it was something she had wanted for longer than she cared to admit, but that was where her concern lied. Should they be jumping into something so life changing when they finally figured out what was between them? "I mean, yes, but not in the way you think," she amended.

"Mac…" he sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Which is it?"

"I'm not having second thoughts…I'm having first thoughts…I guess," she admitted knowing she wasn't making a lot of sense. It felt like everything was coming at her at once and she was trying to get her head around it. "About the baby," she added, opening a dialogue. That actually surprised Harm. He figured she would have uncertainties about their impromptu marriage long before the idea of motherhood.

"This baby or babies all together? Because we've talked about this. You know I want children. And you know I want them with you," he took her lead, realizing she needed to talk this out, whatever it was.

"We just got married, Harm, after nine years of dancing around our feelings. Not to mention, our life is in complete upheaval with you resigning from the Navy and us moving to California. But here we are halfway across the world trying to bring a baby into our chaos. Are we prepared for that?"

Harm couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. She wasn't having second thoughts, she was completely losing her mind. For which, he couldn't blame her.

"Are you laughing at me?" she gaped.

"I am," he managed before another laugh rolled out of him.

"This is not funny, Harm," she huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. If her glower wasn't so frightening and he wasn't fully aware of the bodily harm she was capable of, he would have laughed again.

"I know it's not, I'm sorry," he conceded, throwing his hands up. He couldn't help but be amused at the sight of the squared away Marine losing her cool. "Look Mac, it's been a wild week. Probably one of the craziest ones we've had on record and considering we spent time posing as Romanis in Siberia, hiding from the Russian authorities that is saying something. We're both taxed out. I think we've reached our limit on life changes for the next five years, so I understand your hesitation. But I promise it is unfounded. You're not having any thoughts that every exhausted parent to be hasn't had before."

"And what if we get so focused on being parents that we don't know how to be husband and wife? We never even dated. We're barely established as a couple."

Harm's expression went pensive. This concern seemed a little more valid than the last. She was right, in a sense, they had jumped right into marriage without the preamble of a romantic relationship. However, they couldn't discount the fact that they had held a significant place in each other's lives for most of the last nine years. They had done so much together and more importantly been through so much together.

"We might not have dated in the traditional sense, but we've been on dates. Remember when we went up in my plane? Or the night in the desert under the stars? Or that event at the embassy?"

"Harm, I think I nearly died on every one of those occasions."

"Like I said, nontraditional," he shrugged.

"It does put a whole new spin on 'til death do us part'" she smirked, finally relaxing a little.

"Isn't that when marriage is supposed to end, not dates?" he countered. She nodded, amused. "and our marriage is going to last that long?" he checked.

"Yes, Harm. After nine years of waiting, they will have to pry you out of my cold dead hands," she assured him.

"Good. Then like I said, your concerns are unfounded. I love you, Mac. I've spent nine years loving you. Yes, this baby is going to change us. But a baby would change us no matter when it came into our life." Harm pointed out.

"I guess you're right," she realized it was just a combination of exhaustion and new parent jitters. She wanted this more than anything and she really wanted it with Harm. Finally. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Let's go meet our baby. I have a promise to keep and I'm already late." Harm laughed.

"It's funny, when babies are concerned it's usually the woman who is late," Mac teased. Harm snorted another laugh.

"Yeah, well, we're both going to be late if we don't get moving," he urged, pushing her back towards the door.

"We have plenty of time. Fifty nine minutes." She noted, grabbing his hand and tugging him down the hall.


	4. Meeting Morgan

**A/N: Sorry for the delay- I am one of those non-essential, essential healthcare workers and like the rest of us, my world has turned upside down. I so appreciate all of your feedback and all of your patience between updates. If there is anything specific you would like to see, please let me know. I still have tons of content to post on this story, it's just a matter of cleaning up the chapters. Just a reminder, I know very little about adoption law, so I am going with what little I can navigate on the internet and making up the rest. **

* * *

"I'm Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, this is my husband Captain Harmon Rabb, we're supposed to meet with the advocate for the Navy baby," Mac rattled off to the receptionist in the social work office.

"She's not here yet, ma'am. If you have a seat, we'll call you when she gets here," the woman replied politely. Mac nodded and allowed Harm to pull her towards one of the empty chairs lining the wall. Harm picked up a dated Time magazine and began thumbing through it.

"She's late," Mac grumbled under her breath.

"By how much?" Harm asked.

"47 seconds."

"Mac," he laughed. "I'm sure she's very busy."

"That doesn't mean she can't be timely," she crossed her arms across her chest, looking very much like a pouting child.

"Mac…" Harm started again.

"Colonel, Captain, she will see you now," the receptionist interrupted him.

"One minute and seventeen seconds late," Mac persisted.

"Mac, we need this woman to like us. Play nice," he whispered in her ear, gently pinching her side. She let out a little yelp and scowled at him. He raised his eyebrows, amused.

* * *

"I'm Lydia Franklin, I apologize for your wait, I had an unexpected challenge with one of my kiddos this morning," Harm's eyes cut around to Mac. She barely resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

"Not a problem. Harmon Rabb, and my wife Sarah Mackenzie." The couple shook hands with the woman and took a seat in the open chairs in front of her desk.

"Newlyweds correct? I noticed until recently, the paperwork had all been in Col. Mackenzie's name. Capt. Rabb was a late addition." Lydia flipped open the file to check her information.

"Uh yes, long story, will that be a problem?" Mac fidgeted in her chair. Harm set a reassuring hand on her knee. She covered it with her own, her thumb running across his wedding band.

"No, not at all, in fact it may make the process easier. Unfortunately adoption judges can be somewhat archaic from time to time, modular families seem to have less obstacles. And finding a husband who was already a certified foster parent is just a bonus," the woman beamed at Harm.

"Oh, good," Mac murmured, squeezing Harm's hand.

"Now, I said _less _obstacles. This baby's situation is a little bit sticky," Lydia flipped through the folder in front of her.

"Did you find the lieutenant's advanced directive?" The last time Mac had spoken to him, they only had Commander Casey's advanced directive on file. Since the Lieutenant hadn't been deployed in sometime, they couldn't verify the relevance of hers.

"Both Lieutenant and Commander Casey's advanced directives leave no instructions about the child. Obviously the death of the mother was quite unexpected. To our knowledge there is no family. That is really not our concern at the moment." The woman shook her head.

"And what is the concern?" Harm wondered, feeling Mac tense beside him once again.

"The location of the child. As the child of two naval officers, he is an American citizen and therefore a ward of the state, we're still trying to sort out which one. So that's going to take a little time. And it states here that you intend to move him to California, correct?"

"That is the plan, yes." The marine replied.

"Interstate adoptions are tough, but not impossible. Luckily you are Military and that gives us a little bit of leeway. It would actually be easier if you intended to stay in London, but it is hard to argue with the Marines," Lydia chuckled to herself.

Harm and Mac shared a look. London was still an option. Harm hadn't turned in his papers. They were both on their allotted twenty one days of "adoption leave".

"Once we sort out the location issues, everything should be pretty straight forward. But it's not going to be a quick process."

Both perspective parents nodded. As fast as everything was moving, they realized it wouldn't continue on that way. It would be a hurry up at wait process, just like any bureaucracy. Luckily long military careers built up their endurance for such things.

"But all of that aside, I do have some good news. Should you decide to take him, you two have been cleared to be named as the baby's foster parents."

Mac gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. Harm sent her a full wattage smile. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her so happy, and that included their wedding day.

"When do we sign the paperwork?" he asked.

Lydia's smile lost some of its warmth, suddenly going tight. "After you see him. I want you to be aware of what you're getting into. He's not a normal healthy baby. He is premature and needs a little more time to grow. But his prognosis is good and there's no reason he won't lead a completely normal life. But in the beginning, it will be a challenge."

"Ma'am, all due respect, I am a marine. Challenges are kind of our thing. I want this baby," Mac straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin ever so slightly. Harm bit back a laugh. She was not going to let anything get between her and this baby.

"That's what we like to hear, but we just want you to be sure," the advocate replied kindly. "Let's head over to the neonatal intensive care unit. You can speak with his care team and get a peek at him."

* * *

Mac looked at the baby, her face pressed so close to the plastic isolette that her breath left a fan of fog. His eyes were covered with a soft mask to keep the stimulus of the room from disturbing his much needed sleep and circular leads projected his tiny heartbeat onto the monitor on the wall. As the nurse had mentioned he was on oxygen and a feeding tube. They told her it looked worse than it was. He needed to be able to breathe on his own, gain weight, and keep warm. They were all tasks he would learn as his body matured over the next few weeks. Then he could come home. _Home._ With she and Harm as their son. Just the idea of it filled her with joy.

She giggled when she looked through the isolette and right into Harm's face. She could only imagine how silly they must look, studying the baby in front of them like he was some kind of item on exhibit. However, her breathe caught in her chest when she saw the absolute awe on her husband's face. It was the way he looked after a perfect carrier landing.

"Mac…" his voice was think with emotion.

Mac straightened up to look at him properly. "This is our baby, isn't it?" she asked softly. She knew it without a shadow of a doubt. This baby was meant for them. Harm only nodded. He reached for he hand over the top of the crib and intertwined their fingers.

"That's our baby," he said finally. Harm wanted this baby just as much as Mac did, but he expected it to take longer to feel the connection, the fatherly bond, but it was surprisingly immediate.

"When do we sign the paperwork?" Mac parroted Harm's earlier question.

"Let's go back to my office," Lydia smiled.

"Have you thought about a name?" The advocate asked. "We can't make anything official until the adoption goes through, but we can call him something other than Navy baby."

"Well we..."Harm started.

"Morgan." Mac interrupted.

"I…uh…"Her husband stammered, still caught on the sentence he was trying to finish. His brow furrowed, not expecting her to have an answer at the ready.

"It means Sea Defender." She added quickly. "Do you hate it?"

"Not at all," he chuckled. "It's fitting. Morgan it is," Harm confirmed with a nod.

"Dad, do you have a middle name?" Lydia asked.

"Mackenzie, after his mother," Harm responded without hesitation, winking at Mac. "Morgan Mackenzie Rabb."

"Rabb?" Mac leveled him with a glare, but her dark eyes were full of mirth.

"Colonel Mackenzie, some day you will retire and I will convince you to take my name," Harm grinned.

"Male Chauvinist," she snorted.

"Oh, you love it," he returned. Mac scowled at him. But she did love it. This family they were creating. It had only been in short quiet moments over the last nine years that she'd allowed herself to hope for just this. Their son would carry his name. Whether she would follow suit down the line remained to be seen. She worked hard to make Mackenzie a name she was proud of, it wouldn't be easy to part with.

* * *

After signing the paperwork, the couple was sent home. They would be officially listed as Morgan's foster parents until the following morning, thus were restricted from visiting until then.

Harm took Mac's hand as they made the short walk back to their hotel.

"We're parents, Mac. We have a son," he mentioned.

"A foster son," she reminded, afraid to get her hopes too far up.

"A _son_," Harm repeated. She smiled a gave his hand a squeeze. "And I have to ask, when did you come up with the name Morgan?"

"Promise not to make fun of me?" she asked.

"No, but tell me anyway," he teased. She rolled her eyes.

"The night we made our deal,"

"That long!?" Harm's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"You remember, AJ kinda of gave us all baby fever for a while there. I just got to thinking about "what if?'" she shrugged.

"And you just happened to pick a name that meant 'sea defender'"," he chuckled, but then another thought occurred to him. "I guess it would have still been appropriate had you and Mick…" he added sourly.

Mac stopped walking, yanking Harm around to face her. "No. Morgan was always intended for _our _baby. I wouldn't have used it any other way," she stated. Her tone left no room for argument. Harm smiled and dipped her head to kiss her.

"And now Morgan is our baby," he whispered against her lips.

"Almost," she reminded again.

"It's just a matter of time Mac, he'll be completely ours soon enough," Harm assured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.


	5. Family

**A/N: The next few chapters might not feature Morgan as much, but more so Harm and Mac getting everything in order to bring him home. I literally just finished this, so apologies for any errors.**

* * *

Harm leaned heavily against the isolette, watching the newborn. He marveled at the fact that that tiny human was a few signatures and a court day away from being his son.

"Did you want to hold him?" A voice asked from the door.

"Um…?" Harm's eyes darted between the baby and the nurse at the door.

"I'm Jill, one of Morgan's primary nurses. You're Dad, correct?"

"Yes, Harm," he nodded.

"Nice to meet you," Jill smiled. " I am going to change some of his lines and his bedding, so it's a perfect time to hold him if you're interested," she added.

"Oh. Ok, sure," Harm shrugged.

"Go ahead and wash your hands again and I'll get him out," Jill instructed. "You came on a good day, this is the calmest I've seen him," she made conversation while Harm scrubbed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I like to think it's because he has a name now. This world is tough enough if you have a name," she shrugged, untangling the IV tubing before disconnecting it and capping the end.

"Well, that's all my wife's doing. Apparently, she had his name picked out for most of the last decade," he chuckled.

"So you guys have been together awhile then," Jill mused.

"In a matter of speaking, but we just got married last week,"

"But how long have you been a couple?

"Ten days," he grinned as Jill's eyes went wide. "It's a long story."

"One I look forward to learning from both of you while we get this guy healthy and strong," she loosely swaddled Morgan, lifted him out of his bed, and set him in his father's arms. His tiny hands splayed for a moment as he was overwhelmed by the sudden environment change, but he settled easily into Harm's warm hold.

He felt tears prick the back of his eyes as he realized the gravity of the moment, of holding his son for the first time. The baby nearly fit in the palm of his large hand. This tiny human would grow into it to a walking talking person who would call him "Dad".

"Your first?" Jill asked, seeing the all too familiar look on his face. She wasn't going to assume that just because he was a newlywed, he couldn't have children from a previous relationship.

"Uh baby, yes. I fostered a teenager a couple years back," Harm replied absently.

"Which is admirable in its own right," the nurse mentioned.

"Yeah, but this…" his thumb ghosted Morgan's cheek.

"Is something different entirely," she chuckled.

"Harm?" Mac voice was full of awe as she watched her husband cradle their son. She set down the two paper cups she was holding a generously sanitized her hands before dashing to his side.

"Mac…" Harm felt a quick flash of guilt, wondering if he should have waited until Mac returned from her coffee run. But all of that disappeared when she pressed her finger into one of Morgan's tiny hands and all his little fingers curled around the digit.

"Harm, he's prefect," she whispered.

"I'm going to give you two a minute," Jill spoke up.

"Oh…what if…?" Harm panicked a little. He wasn't sure exactly how fragile Morgan's health was and he didn't exactly want to find out in his first few hours as his father.

"He'll be fine. He's still hooked up to his monitors, so he'll alarm if he's in distress. If you need anything else, just hit the call light. I'm going to go grab his meds," Jill insisted. "Sit down and relax. Enjoy your son."

"May I…?" Mac met Harm's eyes. She didn't want to end his turn too soon, but she wasn't sure how long Morgan would be in the mood to be held.

"Of course," Harm shifted the baby in his wife's arms, enjoying the delight that consumed her features. He kissed the boy's stocking capped head before taking a seat on the couch. It was only a beat later that Mac joined him.

"I was always afraid I would have trouble connecting with a baby I didn't carry," Mac whispered as she looked down at the baby in her arms. "but I was so wrong. I didn't know I could love someone so much."

"Oh Mac," Harm sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I wanted to experience pregnancy so bad that I almost refused to even consider adoption. If I had, we wouldn't have ever…" she shifted her hold on Morgan, placing him across her lap.

"Hey, we're here and he's ours," he reminded, sliding his finger in Morgan's grip. "And if you want to try for another baby down the line, we can do that too."

"That would be a tough road. Tougher than the one this little guy has ahead of him," she breathed.

"Then let's shelf that conversation for the time being. Get our boy healthy and then think about the future," Harm suggested.

"I like that idea," she beamed up at him.

Suddenly, the room came alive with sound and Morgan began squirming in Mac's lap. Both parents looked at the monitor, trying to figure out what was wrong with the child. Harm flew to his feet, ready to hit the call light button, but before he got there Jill returned.

"It's ok, he's ok," she said quickly. She silenced the alarms and approached Mac. The Marine handed the baby over to the nurse. "Hey buddy," Jill crooned, assessing Morgan. "There's no need to get so agitated, it just scares your mom and dad." She adjusted the glowing band on his foot, turning to check the monitor, seeing his numbers return to normal. "He woke up a little bit and kicked his pulse ox off. That's why he alarmed," she explained to the wide-eyed parents.

"But he's ok?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, he's fine. Unfortunately, probably done being held for the day though," the nurse mentioned, settling Morgan back in the isolette and starting to check his vitals and prep his meds.

"As long as he's ok," Mac shrugged.

"His overall condition his pretty stable. He doesn't have complications to underlying conditions, he's really just here to grow. How long he'll be here depends how long he takes to reach his milestones. He just gets agitated easily. My hope is now that he has parents and you guys start doing skin to skin with him, he'll get used to being held and out of his bed," Jill stated.

"We want to provide him whatever he needs," Harm replied.

"Good, I'm glad you guys are here. Please don't hesitate to come to me with any questions or concerns. I've been with Morgan since day one. He's special to me," Jill smiled.

"Thank you, we really appreciate it," Mac nodded, a bit overwhelmed by the nurse's kindness.

* * *

"No..." Mac muttered softly, rolling over in her sleep. Harm stirred, trying to decipher what woke him. "No, that's not true," Mac spoke again. He watched her for a moment. He wanted to see if she would settle herself back down before he attempted to wake her. He'd known for years she was a troubled sleeper but he'd yet to experience himself. Mind you he'd only been sharing a bed with her for a little over a week. "Stop it, you're lying!" Mac's cry in the dark startled him. Her gentle rolling back and forth turned into wild thrashing. He shifted closer to her, gently placing a hand on her stomach.

"Mac," he tried to wake her.

"You're lying," she repeated, her hand gripped his wrist. He recognized the strength in her hold, knowing if he went about this incorrectly, she could very well flip him onto the floor. He covered her hand with his free one.

"Mac, wake up," he stated firmly.

"No, stop it," she fought to get out of his hold. Taking a risk, Harm wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. She finally began to stir.

"Mac, you're safe," he murmured against her ear. "You're safe."

It took Mac a moment to figure out where she was. She was in bed with someone. Harm, her husband. Realizing it was all just a dream and suddenly feeling vulnerable, she tensed in his hold and tried to push away again.

"Don't, don't to that," he resisted. "It's just me, you're safe," he repeated, except this time was no longer telling her she was safe from her dream but instead was safe to be vulnerable. She allowed herself to relax against him, taking a deep full breath.

"It wasn't real," she said finally.

"No, it was just a dream," he reminded, stroking a hand up and down her back.

"No, in my dream...this wasn't real. You, me...Morgan...they were trying to convince me..."she corrected, her fingers tracing the bulk of muscle across his shoulders, still trying to prove to herself he was actually there.

"Mac, look at me," Harm requested. She shifted out of his hold just enough to see his face. "Hi," he grinned.

"Hey, she breathed, her lips quirking into a smile.

"I assure you this is very real," he started grabbing her left hand with his. "We have the rings to prove it." A thrill rolled up her spine like it did every time she saw the ring on Harm's hand. She knew there was no other woman in the world who could tie him down the way she had.

"You're only this way with me," she whispered, mirroring an old conversation.

"Only with you," he assured her, kissing her softly.

He tucked her back against is chest, hoping she would settled down and nod back off, but the tension in her lithe form told him otherwise. "What's got you spooked?" he spoke against her hair.

"I was thinking about Morgan," she admitted.

"You heard what Jill said: he's stable, he just needs to grow," he reminded gently

"I know, it's not that. I was thinking about how he spent two weeks on this earth without a family or even a name," Mac explained

"Mac…" Harm started, but was cut off.

"And how he ended up so alone. And it made me think of how alone I've been most of my life and despite our little JAG family, that feeling didn't really go away until I married you," she continued.

"Mac, you were never alone. For the last decade, you've been a very important part of my life, even when I made you feel like you weren't. Ninety percent of the time I would have dropped everything for you, if you just asked and the other ten percent, I will spend the rest of my life making up to you. You, Sarah Mackenzie will never be alone again, and neither will Morgan. You both have a family now, one to call your own," Harm replied adamantly. He had seen her abandonment issues exhibit in many ways over the years but never so directly. He had no idea she'd felt alone all those years. He made himself a promise to make sure she never felt that way again.

"Thank you," she whispered, burying her face in his neck.

"I will repeat it anytime you need to hear it," he promised. "Now try and get some rest," he urged, his hand drawing slow circles on her back until he felt her body go lax.


	6. Change of Plans

_A/N: The next chapter will be longer, I promise. Enjoy!_

* * *

It seemed every day that passed, Mac got to spend a little more time holding her son. He'd taken well to skin to skin therapy and his agitation had lessened greatly. Tonight she found herself alone, having sent Harm away a while ago to straighten out some confusion at their hotel about the extension of their reservation. She looked down at the baby sleeping on her chest. The more time she spent with him, the more she realized how hard it would be to leave him when the Marines called her back to duty.

A decision she'd been grappling with pressed at the back of her mind. She could get out. She could turn in her papers and leave the Marines. The thought always stilled her. She'd been a Marine for so long. It was all she'd ever known and so much a part of her identity. She was afraid who she would be without the Corps, when she was no longer Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie.

However, as she looked down at Morgan the answer was clearer that it had ever been. She's be Morgan's mom and Harm's wife and a retired Marine. Fate had given her this wonderful opportunity and who was she not to take full advantage?

* * *

Harm blinked awake as he heard the hotel room door crack open, he must have fallen asleep on the couch waiting for Mac. He glanced at the clock.

"'s late..."he rasped.

"I know, sorry," she replied softly, reaching out a hand to ruffle his hair. There was something tight in her expression, like she had something to tell him.

Knowing she'd come from the hospital, his stomach dropped. "Is Morgan ok?"

She smiled reassuringly. "He's fine. I just had some phone calls to make." Harm nodded. "I talked to your mom."

"Oh yeah? She ask you when we're moving her grandson to California?" he shifted so he was upright on the couch, opening himself to her.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that," Mac admitted, accepting his offer and tucking herself beside him.

"About what?" Harm murmured, kissing her hair.

"I don't want you to leave the Navy." Mac continued, her voice muffled as she pressed her face against his shoulder.

"You don't want what?" he asked. He wasn't sure he heard her correctly.

"I don't want you to resign." Mac clarified, tilting her head back.

"Mac, we agreed. In order to get married, one of us had to resign," Harm reminded. Mac sat up straight, wanting to see his face to make sure he fully comprehended what she said next.

"Yeah, me. I'm leaving the Marines." Harm's eyes went wide and serious in that way Mac had found achingly endearing since the moment they met.

"But you won the coin toss." he replied dumbly. Her lips twitched into a smile. She knew she shouldn't have sprung this conversation on him when he wasn't fully awake and able to process information.

"Which means I get to choose. And I want you to stay in the Navy," she insisted.

"Mac..." he started to object, but she cut him off.

"My leave is almost up. Morgan isn't even ready to be discharged from hospital none the less moved to the other side of the world. And I can't leave him, Harm. Not even to report for duty."

"Mac, you won't have to leave him. I will make sure of that." He only had a couple favors left to call in, but he would use every one of them if he needed to.

"I know you would, but you don't need to. If you take up your new commission we can both be here with him and he can get all of his follow up care from the care team we're already familiar with. It sounds like he will be needing regular visits for at least a year."

"Are you sure this is what you want? This is a huge decision," It didn't sound like an impulsive decision, she'd clearly thought about it. And it was an ideal solution. In fact, it was an idea that had crossed his mind once or twice as the weeks of their leave ticked away. However, they'd made the decision to let fate decide and he didn't want her thinking he had second thoughts.

"Harm, you were willing to give up the Navy for us. The toss of a coin and you were going to give it all up: A huge promotion, Captain rank, and your flight status, without a second thought, just to give us a chance. I was prepared to do the same, had the coin landed differently. We wanted fate to make our path and right now that path is leading me towards motherhood and away from the Marines. Morgan is in London for a reason. We can make a good life here."

"We can. You, me, and our son." He grinned. He was in awe of her. If he were honest, he had been for as long as he'd known her. Her strength and determination were unparalleled. Not for the first time, he was grateful he hadn't let her slip away.

"We can get a nice little home, you can go put those Captain bars to use and I'll be the stay at home mom. If down the road I decide I want to go back to work, we can figure that out then," she replied wistfully. He captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

"I love you, Mac. And not just because you're letting me stay in the Navy." He teased. She swatted at his chest. "Ow, hey!"

"You can be really sweet if you want to, but that mouth..." she quipped.

"I have it on good authority that you like my mouth, Sarah Mackenzie," he retorted.

"Really?" She challenged.

"Really." He quirked an eyebrow at her before drawing her in for another kiss.


	7. Lucky Us

**A/N: Sorry that there is not real "middle" to this chapter. I really just wanted the two conversations between Harm and Mac. I have a huge chunk written, but needed to split it up into smaller pieces, so I hope you enjoy the bulk upload!**

* * *

Mac looked up at her husband over the rim of her coffee mug. It was the first time she'd seen him in uniform since their wedding and while the sight was nothing new, it was the first time she could openly ogle him without consequence.

"What?" Harm chuckled, catching her stare.

"Nothing," she smirked. "I was just thinking how lucky it is that you happened to have a uniform with you."

"Everywhere I've gone for the last twenty five years, I've had a uniform with me. Just in case," he shrugged. "Didn't I see some Marine green in your suitcase?" he challenged with the arch of an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah…but…" she stammered. She was going to say that at the time she packed her bag she had every intention of reporting to San Diego when her leave was up, but honestly, she knew she threw the uniform in there more out of habit than anything else. In the military, you never knew if or when you could be called back from leave and it was always prudent to be prepared. She made a face at him before setting her mug on the table and unfolding herself from the chair. She gently straightened his gold wings and clasped the last button below his collar.

"Good luck today, Captain," she mentioned, rolling onto her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips.

"Thank you, ma'am," he grinned, putting his cover on and heading towards the door.

"Oh and Harm?" Mac called after him. He glanced back at her. "I was wrong about dress whites and gold wings." Harm breathed a laugh and shook his head, desperately trying to keep the sultry tone of her voice from going straight to his groin.

"Later Marine," he retorted, taking his leave.

* * *

Harm removed his cover and twisted his neck from side to side, trying to relieve some of the tension in his shoulders. He'd been in meetings most of the day, trying to lay the ground work for his new commission. Once Mac requested he pick up his post in London, he started getting things in order. Unfortunately, he was just informed that would take a little more effort than he had anticipated on both he and Mac's part. With a resigned sigh, he let himself into the hotel room they'd been calling home for the last three weeks.

He was surprised to see Mac's things on the table. They had been spending most of their days at the hospital patiently monitoring their son's progress. He assumed today would be no exception, despite the fact that he had other obligations. He continued into their suite, finding her asleep on the bed. For that he found himself grateful. Neither of them had been sleeping well. Between Morgan's health issues and his legal status, there was plenty of anxiety to keep them up at night. He was glad she was allowing herself some rest. He decided to let her sleep as he changed into civilian attire and carefully stowed his uniform.

"Harm?" her voice was thick with sleep. His heart warmed at the sight of her mussed hair and flushed cheeks.

"Hey beautiful," he greeted. She sent him a tired smile. "I thought you'd still be at the hospital." Mac shook her head, a hand coming up to rub her eyes.

"Morgan wasn't up for company," she mentioned vaguely. "Lay with me?" It was a request Harm could hardly refuse. He eased his body down next to hers and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. It was moments like this that most reminded him how unbelievably different his life had been a month ago. How he'd gone nine years and never known what it was like to hold her like this was beyond him. He wouldn't go back for the world.

"Is Morgan ok?" he asked, finally processing her comment.

"He was agitated. They changed his feeds and lowered his oxygen today. He alarmed every time someone touched him. He'll be fine as he adjusts, but I just couldn't sit there by myself any longer," she explained. Harm tightened his hold on her. Their son was making steady progress. They hoped to have him home by the time Harm went back to work. But the truth was he was still a premiee that required intensive care and with that came good days and bad.

"We can go back together, maybe he'll be in a better mood," he offered. He knew going back to work was going to take him away from his new family, but he needed Mac to know she was not alone.

"Yeah, but after dinner. I want to lay here with you awhile. Tell me how your meeting went," she requested.

"Well, the good news is that we have a place to live. They issued us a house on base and we can move in as early as tomorrow."

"And the bad news?" he felt her tense in his arms.

"We have to return to the states before I go back to work," he mentioned. Mac rolled over in his hold, looking up at him.

Mac rolled over in his hold, looking up at him. "What? For how long?"

"A couple days at most," he reached down and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Harm, I don't want…" her dark eyes were full of concern.

"To leave Morgan, I know," he finished for her. "And if there was anything I could do, I would. But you have to process out. If I can arrange it, I'll get you on the first flight in and the last flight out. You would only be gone a day."

"And what about you?" Mac wondered.

"I will probably need to be there a little longer. Beyond a couple necessary meet and greet meetings, I want to make sure our stuff gets shipped correctly and that Sarah gets stowed properly until I decide if I'm going to bring her over," Harm explained.

"It will be the first time we've been apart since we got married," she noted, rolling back over and slotting her body against his.

"You worried?" He teased, tightening his hold on her and kissing her neck.

"Not for any rational reason. I just feel afraid sometimes that our bubble is going to burst." Mac explained.

"That we're going to wake up from the dream." He concurred. "Lucky us, it's not a dream." He whispered in her ear. She shifted in his hold, rolling over to look up at him. The amount of affection in his eyes stilled her.

"Lucky us," she grinned.


	8. Unexpected Shower

Harm managed to do exactly what he promised. They flew into DC around lunch and she was set to fly back out around nine that night. It left her just enough time to process out of the Marines and get back to her son. However, Harm had a little surprise for her before she headed out.

He parked the car in front of McMurphy's.

"For old time's sake?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

Mac did the math in her head. She still had a couple hours before she needed to be at the airport. "Sure," she smiled.

Harm set a hand on the small of her back, leading her toward the door. He held it open for her and shuffled in after.

"SURPRISE!" a rambunctious group at the bar shouted. There sat Bud, Harriet, Coates, Sturgis, General Cresswell, and even Harm's mother. Mac's eyes danced over the familiar faces before looking back at her husband. It was obvious he was in on it. She playfully swatted at his chest before making her way to hug their friends.

Harm noticed someone was noticeably absent. He tugged his co-conspirator, Harriet, aside.

"She's on her way, Captain, just running late," the woman answered before Harm could ask.

"Good, I just really wanted Mac to have a chance to see her before we left again."

"I pulled every string I could to get her here," Harriet nodded.

"And I greatly appreciate it," Harm replied, kissing the woman's cheek.

Harriet turned her attention back to Mac, "We wanted to throw you a small shower before you left," she announced. "With that new baby, we weren't sure when you'd make it back stateside."

Harm and Mac had sent out an announcement to all their friends and family when their plans changed from San Diego to London and let them know exactly what, or who, rather changed their plans.

"You didn't have to do that," Mac replied, wiping at her eyes. "This is so wonderful."

"It wasn't our idea, it was your husband's," Coates pointed out. Mac glanced at Harm again. He just shrugged.

"We brought gifts, but only things you can take back in a suitcase. We didn't want you to have trouble getting it home. But if there are big things you need, let us know and we are happy to order it," Trish added. Mac opened her mouth to reply but was distracted by a commotion at the door.

"I know I'm underage, but I am not here to drink. I'm here for the baby shower!" A familiar voice shouted.

"Chloe?" Mac's ears perked up.

"Mac! Don't you guys have enough brass over there to get this bouncer to leave me alone?" the girl pleaded, her eyes catching on the two commanders, a captain, a general, and a retired lieutenant colonel. All of them turned towards the bartender. It was the same woman that had been there the night Harm and Mac announced their engagement.

"She's fine, let her through," Joanna allowed. Chloe shot out of the man's grasp and straight in Mac's arms.

"My flight was delayed, I thought I was going to miss it," Chloe panted.

"We just got here, and we've got plenty of time," Mac assured her.

"Good, I brought a gift," the girl giggled, holding up a bedraggled gift bag. Mac chuckled and pulled the girl in for another hug.

"So tell us about this son of yours. Do you have any pictures?" General Cresswell asked.

"Oh!" Mac dug around in her purse for the envelope of pictures she had developed for Harm to give to their friends during his stay in the US. She wasn't expecting to see all of them herself. The group made over the photos, some taking copies for themselves.

"It's Morgan correct?" Sturgis asked.

"Morgan Mackenzie Rabb," Harm supplied.

"He's gorgeous, sir," Harriet mused.

"Do you know when he'll be out of the hospital?" Bud wondered, looking at the picture over his wife's shoulder.

"Soon, hopefully. He's been hitting his milestones," the Captain announced proudly. "Then we can focus on finalizing his adoption."

"I have a friend in family law if you need some assistance," Sturgis offered.

"I appreciate the offer. I think it's all just red tape at the moment. He hasn't been released from the state yet. There is some confusion about his citizenship, but so far his advocate has been especially helpful," Harm responded with a tight smile.

"Well, when you guys are ready for a babysitter, let me know. I'm happy to help," Coates chimed in. Harm offered her the position of his legalman earlier in the day. He knew she had her heart set on going to California with Mac, but he figured London came in at a close second.

"I don't know when I'll be able to pry Mac away from him. This trip is made on borrowed time as is, but I'll keep it in mind," he teased, earning an eye roll from his wife.

* * *

Harm continued to chat with the larger group while Mac stole a couple more minutes with Chloe. She wasn't sure the next time she'd cross paths with her little sister and wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

"I cannot wait until this sweet boy is home so I can come spoil him," Chloe gushed, studying the picture of Morgan.

"I hope you do. Every little boy needs an aunt that's willing to spoil him rotten," Mac laughed. "I'm so happy you could make it tonight."

"It was all Harm's idea. He's not as terrible as I thought," the girl teased. Mac gently elbowed her. "Ok, ok, so I've always liked Harm. He just got lost for awhile there," Chloe amended.

"We both did," Mac shrugged, her eyes catching on her husband across the bar. He sent her a warm smile. "But I couldn't imagine life without him now."

"Gross," Chloe snorted.

* * *

The group spent the next hour catching up. All of the parents offered advice as well as parenting horror stories. Harm and Mac eventually opened their gifts. They were now inundated with clothing and plush toys, all ready for their son's impending release for the hospital.

For as happy as she was to be surrounded by her friends, celebrating their new addition, Mac felt every single mile stretching out between her and her baby boy. Her heart ached to get back home to him. She hadn't expected it to be so hard. It had been less than twenty-four hours.

"You miss him don't you?" Trish asked, noticing her daughter-in-law's fallen expression as she folded her gifts and tucked them into one bag.

"More than I thought possible. I don't like the idea of him being alone in the hospital. He had enough of that before we got there," the former Marine sighed. "You know, one of his nurses told us he didn't really start to thrive until we named him. She said it was like he knew he was no longer alone," Mac admitted, tears filling her eyes. Trish reached out and set a hand on her knee.

"You're going to be a fantastic mom, Mac. You're already on your way there. Morgan is so lucky to have you," she said.

"Thank you. I hope you'll come visit soon. Meet your grandson," Mac offered.

"Whenever you guys are ready to have me, I will be there. Get settled in your new house first," Trish obliged.

"You ready?" Harm interrupted, setting a hand on Mac's shoulder. "I need to get you and Chloe back to the airport,"

"Chloe?" Mac asked, looking around for her little sister. She was off chatting with Coates.

"Yeah, it was a quick turn around for her. Apparently she has school tomorrow," he shrugged.

"And she came all this way?" her brow furrowed.

"You'd do the same for her," he pointed out. "Clo', we gotta head out," he called. The girl nodded and said her goodbyes. Mac followed suit.

* * *

Chloe started towards security, giving Harm and Mac a moment alone. She would give her big sister a send off at the gate before heading to catch her own flight.

"Try to get some rest before you go back to the hospital," Harm requested, slinging his arms around her.

"There's a bed in his room, Harm," Mac countered. Harm pulled a face. He should have known she was going to say that. "I just want to see him, then I'll rest," she promised, tucking herself under his chin.

"You remember how to get to the house?" Harm checked.

"Yes, and I promise to make it a home before you get back," she replied.

"Don't worry about that. Our things should arrive in a couple days. We can put the house together when I get back," he insisted.

"Either way, I'll be anxiously awaiting your return…er…we will," she corrected with a wide grin.

"Give my boy a kiss for me?" he asked.

"Will do, Captain," Mac nodded.

"I love you, fly safe," Harm ducked his head to kiss her.

"Love you too," she spoke against his lips. "Hurry home," she tossed over her shoulder as she walked off to the security line.


	9. Proud

**A/N: Just a helpful reminder that Mattie is not injured in this fic. If you want a continued "Post series, canon-ish" Mattie storyline, please check out my story "Life Unexpected" :)**

* * *

Harm studied the teenager across from him. She was so closed off that he hardly recognized her. Her walls hadn't been that high since he'd first met her years earlier. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"When does your flight leave?" she asked curtly, toying with the corner of her napkin.

"Tomorrow morning, early," Harm replied. She nodded but still wouldn't look up at him. He couldn't figure out exactly what was upsetting her. He was moving away regardless. First it was London by himself, which Mattie wholeheartedly supported. She was enthusiastic about his promotion. She'd been less thrilled when he told her he changed his mind and decided to leave the Navy to join Mac at her commission in San Diego, but she still supported his decision and understood how important it was to make his relationship with Mac work. Now that the final decision was made to move to London, take up his commission, and start a life with Mac and their adopted son, Mattie was shutting him out. "Mattie…"he started, but she quickly interrupted him.

"Harm, it's fine," she let out, taking a greedy sip from her soda. "I guess it's only fair. I tried to get rid of you first, now you're trying to get rid of me," she shrugged. While her words stung, he was not completely surprised by them. Abandonment issues didn't disappear overnight.

"Whoa, Mattie. No one is getting rid of anyone," he responded adamantly, his posture straightening. "I never felt like you were trying to get rid of me. I knew you would go back to your dad eventually and I couldn't stand in the way of that, regardless of how much I wanted you to stay. And you know I have to go to London. Not only for my career but also for a life I never thought I'd have. That doesn't mean you matter any less to me."

"How can you say that? You're starting a whole new life. You have a wife and a baby and a job that is halfway across the world. I'll never see you again," she tried to keep up her tough façade, but it quickly began to crumble as tears filled her eyes. She wiped at them with the back of her hand.

"Mattie Grace, you know me better than that," he admonished, setting an envelope in front of her. The girl stared at him for a moment, before carefully opening the envelope.

"A ticket to London?" she croaked, eyes frantically searching his face to see if this was some kind of joke.

"For this summer when you're out of school. It's open ended so you can stay for a week, a month, or even the whole summer if you want. Mac and I are happy to have you and I've already talked to your dad about it," he grinned.

"Harm, you didn't have to do this," she mentioned, color coming to her cheeks. She felt silly about her outburst. Of course Harm wouldn't abandon her. He took her in just weeks after meeting her and then fought tooth and nail to keep her.

"But I did. I want you to meet your brother," he winked.

"My brother?" her brow furrowed.

"Don't you consider yourself my daughter to some extent?" Harm asked.

"I mean, yeah, you're my Navy dad. I just didn't think once you had your own family…" she trailed off. She'd already accused him of trying to abandon her once and he'd proved her wrong; she wasn't about to make the same mistake.

"Once my kid, always my kid. Don't forget that," he said, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. She ducked her head, again humbled by his affection.

"I love you, Harm," she admitted softly.

"I love you too, Mattie. Always," he returned. "Now let's order some lunch so we can go give Sarah one final flight before she goes into storage." he changed the subject, now that he convinced her he wasn't walking out of her life.

"I can't believe your wife won't let you take your airplane to London," Mattie teased.

"Actually it was my decision, or indecision rather. I am afraid of how she'll travel so for the time being, she's saying put," he shrugged.

"So that means when I get my license I can start taking her out?" Mattie's eyes sparkled.

"We'll see," Harm smirked.

"Come on, she's an airplane, she needs to be in the air," the teenager pleaded.

"I didn't say no. You have to get your license first, and keep your grades up. Then we'll talk about it," he stipulated.

"Look at you getting your 'Dad' practice in," she giggled.

"Well, Morgan is not going to be able to bargain for a while yet," he chuckled.

"Is it weird? Morgan?" Mattie wondered. She's heard very little about her Navy dad's son. She knew the infant was an orphan and had yet to leave the hospital.

"In what way?"

"Well not that he's adopted because you adopted me, but because he's in the hospital still. Like you have this kid, but you don't have him."

"Oh yeah, it's even stranger than that. Some days he's not well enough to hold. So it's difficult. Especially for Mac. She's ready to be his mom full time,"

"He is going to be ok though?" Mattie's eyes were round with concern.

"Yes, of course. He just needs to finish growing. We're hoping he'll be home in the next couple weeks," Harm assured her.

"I'm proud of you, Harm. Your promotion, your family," the girl beamed.

"And I'm proud of you. We've both come a long way from when we met," he mused, picking up the menu to decide what he wanted for lunch.


	10. From House to Home

Mac kept herself busy by organizing and reorganizing the books in the living room. She and Harm were both avid readers and it thrilled her to see their growing library filling the built-ins of their new house. The intermingling of law books, military protocol guides, and various forms of fiction. He had a surprisingly large collection of philosophy and meditation works, along with every possible book on aviation that sidled up next to her extensive paleontology texts, marksmanship manuals and cultural tomes. It was a true representation of their differences as well as their similarities. She stood back to study her latest arrangement. She liked it just as much as she had the previous two, but nervous energy kept drawing her back in.

She fisted her hands at her sides to keep from touching the books again. Harm would be home any minute and if she started rearranging one more time he would be greeted by nothing more than a messy living room. In the five days since she left him in Virginia, she managed to make their base housing look like something that resembled a home. She used some of Harm's furniture from his loft, but supplemented the masculine pieces with accents that were softer, not so much giving it a feminine touch as taking the edge off the bachelor pad feel. The living room was the exception to that rule. It was everything she'd love about his loft: worn wood floors, exposed brick, rich leather furniture and most notably no television. Her eyes ran over the room one more time, wanting his first impression to be perfect. She reached to adjust one book when she heard the front door ease open.

"Mac?" Harm called.

"Harm!" She yelped, jogging towards the door. Her socks caught on the wood floors and sent her sliding in his direction.

"Oh, hey," Harm chuckled as he suddenly found his arms full of a beautiful retired Marine.

"Hi," She chirped, righting herself and hooking her arms around his neck. "Welcome home." She rolled on to her toes and kissed him soundly.

"Mm, please tell me that's how you intend to greet me every time I come in this house," he murmured against her lips before kissing her again.

"Only when you've been gone for days on end. Don't want you getting spoiled," she smiled up at him. "You want to see our house?"

"In a minute," he declined, gently crowding her against the door, pinning her there with his large body. He fisted the beautiful long dark hair he'd been missing and pressed his tongue into Mac's mouth. She let out a low moan and arched her body against his.

"Harm," she gasped finally. Harm pulled back just enough to see her face. Her cheeks were flushed and eyes blown wide with arousal. She reached out and grabbed a fist full of his shirt to bring him back. "There will be plenty of time for this after I show you the house," she breathed, licking the shell of Harm's ear and tugging on the lobe with her teeth. Harm let out a low growl as he scooped Mac against him, showing her how urgent his need was.

"Don't think I can wait that long," he argues.

"I'll make it worth your while," she assured him, patting his chest and untangling herself from his hold. "Come on," she urged him to follow. His eyes drifted from the shapely curves of her breasts, to her swaying hips and finally to her long bare legs as she strutted back towards the living room in her tank top and gym shorts. She was killing him and that was exactly her intention. He groaned but decided to play her game, knowing the results would be worth it.

Harm followed her through the first floor of the house in a sort of auto piloted haze. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate all of the work she had done, but with the exception of their library in the living room it was most of his old stuff arranged in a tasteful way. Not to mention, he was dying to get to the bedroom for more than one reason.

However, all other thoughts fell away as she opened the door to the nursery. Mac had done an incredible job. Three of the walls were the color of warm sand with a dark green accent wall. She had gone to the effort of stenciling the tracks of various dinosaurs across the three light colored walls. Her fossil collection decorated the high shelves, interspersed with rubber or plush models of the beasts they came from. The furniture was four pieces of rich dark wood: a crib, dresser, changing table and rocking chair that sat stoically against the playful walls. He couldn't stop himself from tracing the nearest set of tracks with his fingers. His mind echoes back to their very first case together. _The tracks tell the story_. His lips quirked into a smile. He would love to see the tracks of he and Mac's story, the starts, stops, forks in the road and wrong directions, everything it took to get them here.

"Harm?" her voice brought him back to the room. Both of her hands were curled around his arm and her dark eyes blinked up at him, hesitant. "What do you think?" she asked. His throat worked as he struggled to find the right words to adequately describe how he felt about the beautiful job she had done. For a moment, he considered just kissing her hoping that would effectively communicate his feelings.

Instead, he dumbly blurted, "I was expecting airplanes."

Mac's cheeks went scarlet. She'd worked so hard making sure the nursery was perfect. She even had Harm's mom express ship a few of the hard to find items to really finish out the room. "Well, I just thought…"she cleared her throat. "Most of the gifts we've received for him are airplane themed. He is going to dressed in aviation gear or shirts that say things like 'I'm Daddy's co-pilot' and 'Talk to Me, Goose' until he goes to school. I just thought with his room we could do something different. If you don't like it…" she was surprised at how emotional she felt about the idea of changing the nursery. With Harm being an aviator as well as Morgan's biological father, she knew she would lose a lot of battles to airplanes in the future, so here at the beginning she wanted one foothold that represented her.

"Mac, no. That's not what I meant at all. In fact, there were so many things I wanted to say and 'I was expecting airplanes' wasn't even close to any of them," he sighed, shifting so he could slide his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. "This is incredible, Mac. You did an amazing job. I hadn't even considered ichnites and dinosaurs, but I love it. You told me on our first case together that the tracks tell the story and this is where our story starts with Morgan, so it's only fitting," he finished, putting his chin on her shoulder.

"I was hoping you'd pick up on that," she mused.

"Now we just need Morgan to come home," Harm added.

"Shouldn't be much longer. He's gained some more weight and on a little less oxygen," Mac informed.

"Bottle feeds?" Harm recalled the list of goals the care team created for Morgan.

"Not yet, but he has swallow studies next week."

"Excellent," he hummed, pressing a kiss to her neck. "Now are you going to show me our bedroom?"

"If you insist," she said with a sigh of mock exasperation.

She'd spent nearly as much time on their own bedroom as she did on Morgan's. She bought all new furniture, wanting it to be theirs, not his. She splurged on high thread count sheets, a down comforter and sensual lighting. She decorated the walls with pictures of them together through the years, along with the few shots from their wedding and numerous pictures of friends and family. Moving across the world was not a small decision and this was a way to stay tethered to those they left behind. On the opposite wall, she honored their military careers. She's hung their various awards along with whatever Harm had from his father and grandfather's service and the few pieces she'd had from her Uncle Matt.

Harm liked it instantly. The cool blue grey walls gave him a sense of calm and the personalized decorations made it feel like they actually lived there rather than a place to sleep between work days. Even in DC, despite the fact that he'd built his loft from scratch, it was really more of a stopover. What Mac had built them here was a home.

"Mac…"he breathed, taking a slow lap around the room.

"You weren't expecting airplanes in here as well, were you?" she teased. He scowled at her. She playfully stuck her tongue out.

"It's perfect, Mac. Seriously, you did a wonderful job with the whole house. I can't believe you did it all in five days."

"I needed something to keep my busy. What they don't warn you about when you get married is how quickly you get used to having your husband around. Especially at night," she admitted, sidling up next to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. He laughed warmly. He was inclined to agree with her. After nearly a month in almost exclusively her company, five days apart felt like an eternity. He woke up more than once reaching for her and finding nothing but air.

"So I take it you haven't slept here yet?" he assumed.

"I've been staying at the hospital with Morgan," she nodded. She shifted so she was in front of him, sliding her hands up his chest, coming to cup his face. "It didn't feel right sleeping in our bed without christening it first," she breathed, the words going straight to his groin.

"I guess we should fix that," he returned, his voice sounding like gravel. He surged forward, capturing her lips in another searing kiss. The kind that was all teeth and tongue and silent promises. His hands were everywhere, trying to make up for lost time.

The burning need for air forced them apart. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Cheeks flushed, chests heaving, eyes alight with love and arousal. He drew her back in, lifting her off the ground. She locked her legs around his waist, hips pressing against his quickly growing erection. He nearly bucked into the friction. Moving towards the bed, he dropped her on the crisp duvet and climbing on top of her.

He growled deep in his throat as Mac tugged his bottom lip between her teeth. Mac licked into Harm's mouth, tasting every piece of him. She could feel the man's desperation in every movement and it was only fueling her own. Her hand fumbled with the buttons of Harm's shirt, relentlessly searching for skin. When he shifted away from her to remove the garment, she took advantage pushed him on to his back. As Mac straddled his hips she crossed her arms in front of her and pulled her tank top over her head. Harm groaned as her breasts bounced in response to the action. He brought a large hand up to palm one of them. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and his forefinger, and brought his other hand up to give her other breast similar attention.

Mac whined in protest as his hands left her chest. She took a deep breath and blinked at the beautiful man trapped between her legs. She couldn't believe this was her life now. That he was finally hers and would be forever.

She bent towards him, pebbled nipples dragging across his chest as she captured his ear lobe between her teeth and gently tugged.

"I love you," she said simply, her fingers gently stroking down his chest. She smiled as his muscles twitched in response. She scooted down his legs and placed a feather light kiss just below his belly button. Her eyes caught on the fly of his pants. The bulge of his erection was evident. Her eyes flicked up to meet Harm's. His pupils were blown wide, nearly consuming his blue irises. She worked his belt, sliding the leather from the loops and tossing it over her shoulder. She nimbly unsnapped the fly and slowly pulled down the zipper. He began to fidget as she slid her fingers under the edge of his boxers. A slow hiss bled out of him as she graze the head of his erection.

"Mac..." It fell somewhere between a plea and a gasp. Mac fisted each hand in the material at his hips and tugged. He lifted his six off the mattress to help her out. She slid the pants down his legs and tossed them in the same direction as his belt. Her eyes raked up and down the full length of his body. "Come here," he urged softly. Mac met his eyes for a moment and shook her head no. She stuck one finger in her mouth and licked it slowly. Harm watched her intently. His breath caught in his throat as she took that same finger and ran it along the ridge of his erection. "Mac," he sighed. She wrapped her fingers around the shaft and gently stroked him, he was hot and heavy in her hand. His hips bucked slightly. "Please…"he rasped. She smirked and kissed the tender skin of his inner thigh.

Harm couldn't stand it anymore. He reached down and gently wrapped his hands around her arms and dragged her back towards his head. She struggled against him for a minute, until he captured her lips in a strong kiss. As expected, she melted against him. He smiled against her lips and rolled them over. He pushed up onto his knees. He gently nibbled on her ear lobe as he hands wandered down her naked upper body. She moaned and arched into his touch. He moved down her body, nibbling, caressing, kissing. He took one nipple into his hot mouth. Mac released a ragged breath and whimpered slightly. Harm continued his quest downward, finally pulling her pants off. He pressed a kiss to the tattoo that had been nothing more than a rumor to him for years, tucked away in hollow of her left hip bone. His hand ghosted up her inner thigh, finally finding purchase as he dipped a finger inside of her.

The look on her face as she came undone under his touch cued up everything her felt for her. Everything he loved, cherished and could hardly believe he was lucky enough to have. She was trying to read him and he wanted to let her. He wanted to open himself to her and let her in, love her. He smiled softly and leaned forward, bracing himself on his hand, hovering just above her.

For a moment Mac was completely stilled by the look in his eyes. Everything he'd promised her when they started their life together was reflected on his face. Everything he was feeling. Feelings she'd never expected from him, but always hoped for. She arched up to kiss him. He responded hungrily.

Mac gasped as his fingers hit the right spot. Her body was instantly flushed with heat. She broke their kiss and met his eyes as his slow strokes were quickly causing her undoing. His gaze was still smoldering and only pushed her even further. Everything felt heavy, everything. Her legs, her arms, her eye lids. Her hands gripped at his biceps as she felt her control slipping.

As much as he wanted to kiss her, he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. Her hips began to rock against his hand and her eyes were barely open. She was close.

"Let go," he whispered, gently biting the shell of her ear. With a ragged sigh and something that sounded vaguely like "oh my God", she hit her orgasm. He eased his fingers out of her and held on loosely as her body spasmed and shuttered.

"Hey," he smiled down at her.

"Hey yourself," she returned, her smile lazy. She reached an arm up and hooked it around his neck, pulling him on top of her. She rolled her hips underneath him, as she sought his lips out for a kiss.

A feral growl escaped him as her wet heat rubbed against him. He shoved a hand underneath her, lifting her hips so he could easily slide into her.

She let out a throaty moan as he filled her inch by inch. He pressed his face against her neck. That sound was going to finish him before he ever got started. He needed to regain some control. She tried to roll her hips again, being as he stopped moving once he was fully seated inside her. He was denying her release.

"Harm, for the love of all things holy, if you don't move," she threatened. He laughed warmly. He slowly did as she requested. His hips began to piston, eliciting a gasp from her with every stroke. She hooked her legs around him, heels pressing into his lower back. His rhythm faltered as she began to spasm around him, mumbling in and language he didn't recognize. He continued his thrusts, her body milking his orgasm out of him.

He collapsed on top of her, resting there for only a minute before he flipped onto his back. Mac lay beside him, sated and panting.

"I think our bed has been officially christened," Harm announced eventually as the haze of his orgasm began to ebb.

"And with great skill, if I do say so," Mac agreed. Harm looked down at her, eyebrows at his hair line. "What? I didn't just miss you for your witty conversation skills," she chuckled.

"I knew you married me for my body," he quipped.

"Yeah, that's why I waited nine years for you to fill out, stick boy," Mac teased. He lightheartedly rolled his eyes.

After a quick shower the couple was curled up together in their new bed.

"We haven't really talked since your retirement. How are you feeling? Any second thoughts?" Harm asked.

"I don't know if It's really sunk in yet, but I know I don't regret it. Being Morgan's mom and your wife is really what I want right now. And I have options if I want more than that in the future, whether that be with the Marines or as a civilian," she shrugged. "But I did get my Navy Wife packet while you were gone..." she started.

"Why do I feel like there's a story there?" He smirked.

"A whole gaggle of them showed up on our door step. I guess they get some kind of notification when a sailor gets married so they send in the welcome committee. There were pamphlets and schedules for financial information session as well as a rundown on how communication works for sea deployments. A bunch of nonsense from women wearing "proud Navy wife" sweatshirts. I guess none of them bothered to check I served myself and I am quite familiar with how it works." she scoffed.

"Mac, they were trying to be nice. Being a Navy wife is not exactly easy." He grinned at her discomfort.

"I was nice back, it was just unnecessary. I'm not a Navy wife."

"I think the ring on your left hand says otherwise," he pointed out.

"I guess," she replied quietly.

"Is that not a term you like?" he wouldn't continue to tease her about it if it truly bothered her.

"No, no. It was just something I was thinking about when I showed you Morgan's room and I guess more specifically why I didn't go with an airplane theme," Mac started. "Like I said I have no regrets about leaving the Corps, but I do feel a little unmoored. Now that I don't have what was a large piece of my identity, I'm afraid I'm going to get lost," she admitted. He understood what she was saying. Being considered a Navy wife folded her identity into his and she needed to stand on her own two feet.

"You won't get lost. I'll come find you, always," he promised, kissing the crown of her head and tucking her tighter again his side.

"I know you will," she replied.


	11. Adjusting

_A/N: Getting closer to getting Morgan home! This chapter has a little more drama, but I like it. Helps our lovely couple grow. Enjoy! _

* * *

Harm's body flushed with panic. His son was missing. Well, not missing. He was just not in the room he'd left him in. The NICU room had clearly been vacated and prepared for another patient, which begged the question: where was the last patient?

"Can I help you, sir?" the young nurse asked. He recognized her to be one of the night shift nurses who had taken care of Morgan earlier in their stay. He wasn't surprised she didn't recognize him, it was the first time he'd been at the hospital in uniform.

"My son…?" he gestured towards the empty room.

"Oh! Harm…er…Mr…" her eyes caught on his stripes. "…Captain Rabb!" she finally managed. He smiled briefly and waved her off, less concerned about his rank and more concerned about his son. "Morgan was transferred to the general pediatrics ward this afternoon, room 2015." With a nod, Harm jogged in the direction she was pointing.

"Mac?" he asked as he poked his head into room 2015. The sight before him stilled him. Mac stood in the middle of the room, cradling Morgan. The baby looked pink and healthy, but most noticeably unattached. He was no longer tethered to the wall by his oxygen, the bulky IV pole holding the various pumps sat abandoned in the corner and for the moment he wasn't hooked to the heart monitor. Also, if the traditional crib in the corner was any indication, he'd graduated from the incubator as well.

"Hey," Mac greeted, the brightest smile he'd ever seen stretched across her face. "We've had a big day," she mentioned.

"I can see that," he replied, passing his cover from one hand to the other. "He looks good." He ran a hand over the baby's downy hair.

"So do you," she countered, taking a long look at him in his crisp service whites. He smiled, just a hint of color coming to his cheeks. She reached a hand up to run her fingers over his fresh regulation haircut and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. "How was your first day?" A grimace flashed across Harm's face.

"Tell me about your day first," he deflected. She narrowed her eyes at him, but let it slide for the moment. It was clear he would talk about it when he was ready. Plus, she had been waiting most of the day to tell him about Morgan's progress.

"Well, obviously they discontinued his oxygen and moved him out of the NICU," she beamed. He nodded, her enthusiasm was infectious. "He has gained more weight and has sustained his body temperature," she added. Harm could tell she was holding back, saving the best for last.

"And?" he prompted, hanging his cover on the hook by the door.

"And he passed his swallow study this morning, they want to start him on bottle feeds!" she was almost shrieking in delight. This was what they had been waiting for. Morgan was meeting his milestones. It wouldn't be long now before he was home with them and their true parenting journey began.

"That's great, Mac," Harm chuckled. "That's great." Hope filled his chest in the same way it did when Mac walked into McMurphy's in her red dress nearly two months earlier after agreeing to marry him. Hope for the future. Their future. "May I?" he gestured to the boy.

"Of course. He's due for a feed soon, if you're feeling ambitious,"

"When am I not?" he retorted, cheekily. "But before I do…" he trailed off, stripping down to his undershirt. Service whites were unbelievably tedious to keep clean on their own and a baby was only going to make that harder. He figured he'd do what he could. Mac let out a laugh as she patiently waited for him to hang the shirt with his cover. A moment later, Harm had the tiny baby tucked against his chest. Mac watched every muscle in her husband's body relax as he gently swayed their son from side to side. He was obviously carrying whatever happened during his first day at his new post, but she was glad he was finding solace in his family.

"I'm so glad you had a good day," he cooed at the little boy. "I, on the other hand, had a terrible day. But you and your mom are making it so much better." He shifted his hold so he could rub noses with Morgan, the same way she always did with Chloe. The child blinked wildly at the closeness of his father's face.

"First day at the new commission is always hard," Mac voiced softly, speaking from experience. And it only got harder the higher you were ranked. No one loves a new boss on day one. However, the look on her husband's face told her she had missed the mark completely. He looked almost haunted. "Harm?"

"I should have read my personnel files more closely before I took command." He mentioned flatly. Mac quirked an eyebrow at him. "The vacancy in my office was previously filled by one Lieutenant Abigail Casey." Mac's eyes fell closed as she took the full brunt of that statement. She's been so wrapped up in getting Morgan from one day to the next that she'd forgotten about his first day. The day his mother died bringing him into this world. The mother that apparently would have been under Harm's command had she lived.

"Oh Harm," she sighed. "I hadn't even…" she trailed off.

"I know. We've practically been living in a vacuum for the last month. It just kind of threw me." He nodded. "I never considered she could have been under my command," Harm glazed over the situation. He wasn't ready to confront the feelings the day had stirred up in him, especially when Morgan was having such a remarkable day.

"Do they know you're adopting her baby?" she wondered.

"Since the adoption isn't final, I wasn't sure what to say. Like you said, being the new commanding officer is hard enough. To mention you're also adoption the child of their fallen comrade on day one might gave been more than any of us could handle," he sighed. Mac nodded.

"We can call Lydia and see what she says. It's probably going to be best to be as honest as you can with your people, even if it's awkward," she set a comforting hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. Harm made some noise of agreement. "And maybe when he's home we can throw a housewarming. It'll be a good way for you to get to know your new coworkers and they can all meet Morgan. I mean, eventually I want him to know about his biological parents and these people can help us fill in those blanks," Mac suggested carefully. She could tell he still needed time to process the day and she didn't want to overwhelm him with her Marine 'find the quickest solution' tendencies. He smiled tightly and nodded again.

Harm appreciated Mac's idea and more than likely it was what they would end up doing, but it was another reminder of how much his life had changed over the last month. He could count on one hand the amount of times he opened his home to people and even then it was something last minute or informal. He wasn't used to inviting people into his life and to be honest it was not something he was very good at thus far. The insecurity tightened the knot that was already developing in his stomach.

"Ok, who is doing the honors?" a harried looking nurse came in with a tiny bottle floating in a steaming paper cup. Her entrance into the room was a welcome distraction, effectively ending a conversation that was only going to get more uncomfortable for all parties involved.

"I think I am," Harm smiled, shifting Morgan in his arms.

"You've fed a baby before?" Her tone was not condescending, just information gathering.

"Uh, yes. My godson. But it's been awhile," he admitted with a nervous laugh.

"You'll do fine. Just remember his belly is small and he is not used to the bottle. He may only take an ounce, but if he does that without complication we're headed in the right direction," the nurse informed. She handed Harm the bottle and watched for a moment to make sure there were no immediate issues. "Do you guys mind if go check on my other kiddos?" she asked.

"I think we'll be ok," Mac smiled, standing at Harm's elbow, watching her son eagerly take his dinner.

"Flip on your call light if you need anything," the nurse said as she left the room.

"Harm, why don't you sit?" Mac suggested gently. Her husband was completely entranced by the baby in his arms. "Harm?" she tried again, setting a hand on his arm.

"hmm?" his eyes still didn't leave Morgan.

"Come in for a landing, flyboy," she chuckled.

"What?" Harm's attention finally broke, his head snapping up.

"Have a seat," she urged, ushering him towards the couch under the window. He did as he was told, but quickly turned his attention back to the baby. Mac was a little envious, watching Harm experiencing one of Morgan's firsts. However, she knew there was a chance he might miss other ones being as the Navy hardly cared if you were around for your son's first words or steps. So she was happy to let him have this one.

"Mac…" Harm's voice broke through her musings. "What…I don't…" he stammered. She looked down to see Morgan rejecting the bottle and starting to spit up.

"Oh, he probably needs to burp," she replied instinctively. "Come here, sweet boy," she took the baby and sat him up in her lap, one hand splayed across his chest, the other patting his back.

Harm let Mac finish Morgan's feed, happy to sit back and watch. From there they fell into what had become their nightly routine. They passed the baby back and forth, grabbed a mediocre meal from the cafeteria, and waited for doctors to do their evening rounds.

It had also become a way for them to get to know those details they had missed over the last decade as long days at the hospital left lots of time for conversation. However tonight, a near silence hung between them. They discussed a couple projects they wanted to work on at their new house, but didn't delve too deep into any subject.

At one point Mac stood to change Morgan's diaper. He was amazed at the practiced ease with which she did it. She was already an amazing mother. It came so naturally to her. It was bittersweet in a way. He knew how desperately she wanted to carry a baby and she'd initially feared adoption wouldn't be enough to fill that need. However seeing her with Morgan made her fears seem unfounded. She looked more complete and content that he'd ever seen her in the past decade. He imagined it was something akin to the way he looked every time he stood on the flight deck of a carrier. With that thought, his mind shifted back to another couple of naval aviators. Two fathers who were robbed of the opportunity to see their sons grow up. His and Morgan's. It was a bond he would always have with his son and it wasn't something he'd really thought about since they arrived in London. But it came roaring back to life when he walked into his new office that morning and saw the grief all over his new coworkers faces. He let out a long sigh.

"You ok?" Mac asked, lifting Morgan out of the crib to rest against her shoulder.

"Just tired," he lied. She probably didn't buy it, but he didn't really know how to explain what he was feeling at the moment.

"I'm just going to get him to sleep, if you want to head home. I'll meet you there," she offered. He nodded and stood from the couch. He ran a hand over Morgan's back and then kissed his wife. He had about a million things he needed to do for tomorrow and maybe a little time to himself would help him ease the knot in his stomach.

* * *

Mac watched her husband leave. She could tell he was still bothered by the morning's events. For a while Morgan's success has distracted him, but as the evening wore on she watched him pull further into himself. Anxiety gnawed at her. This was the first time since they been married that they had to test their coping mechanisms and history told her neither of them had the healthiest of habits on that front. She hoped he would realize he was not alone anymore, but she wasn't feeling optimistic.

Harm was walking out of the home office when Mac arrived. A smile came to her face. It was rare he was so undone and loose limbed, in his sweatpants and T-shirt.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey yourself," he returned, pulling her into his arms and just holding her for a moment. "I can't believe how great Morgan is doing," he said finally.

"I know," Mac leaned back in his arms so she could see his face. "We're going to have him home soon," she beamed.

"I can't wait," he returned her smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Are you ok? About work?" She checked.

"I am. Like I said it just caught me off guard. I could feel their grief and I just didn't know what to do," he disclosed.

Mac smiled ruefully. She knew this conversation was far from over, but the fact that he'd opened up a little more about his day pacified her for the time being.

Harm laid in bed looking at the ceiling for a long time. He'd tried to sleep but it just wouldn't come. Mac had been out for hours and he didn't want to wake her so he decided to take his struggle to the living room. His mind kept rolling over the day's events. He'd been confronted with Morgan's loss for the first time. It spun him back to his own, something he thought he was finally moving past. And somewhere down the line, he would have to explain to Morgan the sacrifice their fathers had made for their country. It was a sacrifice he'd signed himself up for as well and had nearly achieved at least twice. It was a sobering thought that he was one bad flight from following this unfortunate pattern. Morgan could suffer a parental loss for a third time. It was a lot to wrap his head around.

"Can't sleep?" Mac's voice called in the dark. She stepped up behind the couch and slid her arms around his neck, placing her chin in his shoulder.

"Yeah, did I wake you?" He asked, bringing his hand up to cover hers.

"Not really. But I noticed you were gone," she replied. "You ok?" She asked for what felt like the millionth time in the last twelve hours.

"Just adjusting," he assured her. She hummed in understanding. She decided to give him leeway. Everyone needed time to process things.

"Come back to bed," She insisted, pressing a kiss to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. "I'll wear you out, I promise," she teased, her lips moving up towards his ear, pulling to lobe between her teeth. He chuckled, deciding to surrender to her. It wasn't like he was going to sort out the mess in his head at the moment.

* * *

It was the third night Mac woke up in an empty bed. She tossed back the covers and went to find the missing occupant.

"This has to stop," Mac announced and she found her husband in the living room for the third night in a row. She'd talked him back into bed the first night, let him stew the second night and tonight she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"Mac, I'm fine. It's just some insomnia. It comes and goes. You know that." Harm deflected.

"For me maybe. You only lose sleep when something is bothering you. And something has been bothering you since you reported to your new job." She wasn't buying it.

"It's a new command, Mac. I'm a Captain now with new responsibilities. It's an adjustment," he gave her an obvious excuse.

"Harm, stop. You're a terrible liar." She scoffed.

"What?" his eyebrows knitted together, not liking her accusation.

"It's written all over you, Harm. You're hurting. I've been through enough with you to recognize it and the fact that you think I wouldn't is insulting, especially as your wife," she called him out and in typical Harmon Rabb fashion, he just stared at her. When he opened his mouth to say what she was sure was something along the lines of 'I don't want to talk about this' she cut him off. "I get it, Harm. We both have our ways of coping that were developed when we had no one in our lives to lean on. Neither of us is naive enough to believe that those habits suddenly disappear because we got married. But you're far worse about it than I am. I was there when you got the news that your father had died, hell, I was the one who had to tell you and still you wanted to deal with it on your own. I don't know why you feel you have to hurt alone."

"My father's death had nothing to do with you. I had burdened you enough with it," he explained, lamely. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"It wasn't a burden," she sighed. "But even if that is your theory, whatever you are dealing with right now has to do with Morgan, _our _son. And that has everything to do with me," she added.

Harm shook his head. "It's not about Morgan," he started, not really knowing where he was going with that statement. He felt it was the truth though; his hang up was with himself. He felt inadequate. He wasn't sure how he would walk Morgan through the loss of his biological parents when he was still coping with the death of his own father thirty plus years later. And he couldn't help but feel guilty about how much he loved being the Navy and more importantly loved flying, both things that could take him away from his family in a second. He just couldn't tell her that. His ego wouldn't let him. Even if she was his wife.

"Harm, I've told you I don't like to be a mind reader, and this is no different. So instead of outright begging out you to tell me what's going on with you, I will tell you this: I need you. I have given up almost everything I've known for the past fifteen years. My career, my home, my structure and in a few weeks we are bringing home a baby that is going to need most of my energy and attention..."

"Mac, you told me to stay in the Navy. You said this was what you wanted," he objected. He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it left his mouth, but he felt backed into a corner and he reacted defensively. Mac's eyes flared.

"I know, it was my choice and I stand by it," she bit out. "But regardless of whose idea it was, it's a lot of change. I'm barely keeping it together. The only reason I am is because I know I am not alone. So please, don't leave me alone," she finished. Silence settled around them. She could tell he was grasping for another excuse or deflection and she wasn't going to stick around to hear it. "I'm going to spend the night with Morgan, at least there I won't have to sleep alone," she decided, moving towards the door to grab her coat and shoes.

Harm just stared at the door as it closed behind her. He suddenly felt hollow, the best parts of him walking out with her. Before he could think about it, he stood from the couch and went to put some clothes on. He'd made the mistake of not following her in the past and he paid for it in spades. He refused to do so again, the cost was too high.

* * *

Mac knotted her hands together to keep them from shaking as she sat down on the couch in Morgan's hospital room. As much as it would soothe her to hold her son, he was sleeping soundly and she didn't want to disturb him. She told herself she wasn't running away, that she was just giving herself space. However, she realized this behavior made her nearly as guilty of falling back on old habits as he was. Unleashing on him and running away before he could appropriately respond was a tactic she had used many times in the past when she wasn't sure she wanted to know what his response would be. His reaction to that was always volatile and unpredictable. He could be willing to fight or completely fold in on himself for days, weeks or even months if he felt so inclined. She wasn't sure what she had just done to them.

"This has to stop," Harm's voice announced his presence. He was leaning against the doorframe, an amused smile playing at his lips as he echoed her earlier statement. She sagged against the couch with relief. He'd followed her.

"Harm, I…" she started, but he held a hand up to stop her.

"My turn," he shifted, crossing his arms across his chest. "I've made a lot of mistakes with you and unfortunately I am a slow learner. But after our blowout on the Guadalcanal when you walked away without hearing my answer, I promised myself I would always come after you. Then Paraguay happened and I realized just coming after you wasn't enough. I actually had to do something once I got there, so I'm here to try that. I kindly ask you to stick around for the duration of this experiment," he announced, his tone was pointed, but his eyes were soft. He crossed the room and stood at the side of Morgan's crib. "You know, this is the first time in a long time, I am actually scared," he admitted softly. "I mean even with Mattie she could at least tell me what she needed and I knew what I needed as an angry teenager. Plus that was only temporary, I knew she would move on from my care. With him I have his whole life ahead to make mistakes and I have no idea what he'll need. And balancing that with what you need from me as a husband makes me feel somewhere between overwhelmed and inadequate." He was surprised at how easy it actually was to tell her what he was feeling once he gave himself permission.

"Why didn't you say something?" Mac sighed, having a feeling she already knew the answer.

"Well, I have this ego…"he smiled wryly.

"I hadn't noticed," she deadpanned.

"I've been watching how naturally how all of this has come to you and I just couldn't tell you how daunting it seemed to me. I, I barely knew how to feed him earlier and God forbid I ever have to change a diaper," his tone was laden with frustration.

"Harm, that is how every new parent feels. You're the one who reminded me of that. And believe me when I tell you it looks better than it feels. I am taking this one task at a time just like you. He is not like any other baby I've ever been around. I mean he's four weeks old and this is really the first time we've been able to do anything for him on our own. Our learning curve with him will be different, but we'll get there," she tried to assure him, just like he had weeks earlier when she wasn't sure they were prepared to bring a baby into their lives.

"That's just it, Mac. There's so much more to him that scares me. We have this bond, he and I. We belong to a club of people who lost their fathers to the sky and the worst part is I will have to be the one to tell him that. I am so afraid that I won't be able to help him understand that when I barely understand how it happened to my own father. And what does it say about me as Morgan's father, knowing the losses we've both suffered and still being willing to walk out of this room and climb into the cockpit of a fighter jet without as second thought?"

That prompted Mac to stand, moving next to him and taking him into her arms. This was it. This was what was hurting him. They had joked about Morgan being the son of a Naval Aviator, but until this very moment she hadn't appreciated the gravity of that statement. Of course Harm would feel that loss acutely, it was something as familiar to him as breathing.

"I don't want him to carry the same burden I did, whether it is for his biological father or me," Harm spoke against her neck.

"He won't have to. The fact that you are thinking about this years before it will ever be on his mind tells me he will be just fine. We'll figure it out. And as for you, I don't want you to feel guilty about flying. Just because you're a father now, that doesn't mean you stop being you. You'll find your balance there too," she whispered, her fingers carding through the short hairs at the base of his skull. "I love you," she added, turning her head to press a kiss against his temple.

Harm straightened up and locked his arms around her waist. " I love you too," he replied. "and I'm sorry I isolated you."

"And I'm sorry I walked out. We'll get better at this," she promised, leaning up to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. " And for future reference, all I need from you as a husband is this. Is that so bad?" she grinned.

"I've been through worse," he shrugged, dipping his head and kissing her again.

"Oh, you scared me. I didn't expect to see you guys back until morning," the night nurse interrupted.

Harm looked down at Mac and then back at the nurse. They probably looked like quite the pair, half sleep mussed and in their pajamas. "We needed some family time," he settled on the easy explanation.

"Of course, take all the time you need. I am just going to grab a set of vitals," the nurse smiled, shuffling around Morgan's crib.


	12. Minor Obstacles

A/N: This is kind of a multiple chapter, chapter. If that makes sense. I cut them apart to keep the themes similar. More to come soon! Enjoy!

* * *

Harm and Mac were hovering around Morgan's crib when Lydia softly knocked on the door.

"Hey Lydia," Mac offered her a small smile before turning her attention back to her son. He was strapped into his car seat and hooked up to monitors. It was standard procedure for premature babies. The goal was to see if Morgan could tolerate riding in his car seat.

"Oh, car seat test! He must be ready for discharge," Lydia noted with delight.

"In two days," Harm beamed. "Now I hope you're here to tell us he'll be ready to adopt outright shortly thereafter?"

Lydia's lips pursed. Mac felt a twist in her gut. She shared a look with her husband. It was clear he felt it too.

"There's good news and bad news," the advocate said, throwing her hands up against the sudden tension.

"Someone is contesting the adoption?" Mac asked. Harm watched all the color drain from her face. Instinctively he hooked an arm around her waist offering her support.

"No, no, nothing like that. That's my good news," Lydia started. "Morgan has been released from the state, so he is now officially up for adoption. All of your paperwork has been filed and assessed and you have be approved as Morgan's official parents," she grinned.

Mac wanted to get excited. She wanted to spin in her husband's arms and pull his head down for a fierce kiss, but she resisted. There was still bad news and until she heard it, she refused to celebrate.

"But?" Harm beat her to the punch.

"They want the final hearing held in the US," the woman explained

"I can arrange a couple days leave, that shouldn't be a problem," Harm shrugged.

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem," Mac agreed

"They want Morgan present. It's a stupid technicality, but…" Lydia started.

"I am not taking my six week old on a transcontinental flight," Mac cut her off.

"I figured you would say that. So we have a couple options. We can either postpone the adoption until you are comfortable traveling with him, or we can look into relocating the hearing." the advocate suggested.

"Can't we do it on base or at the embassy?" Harm wondered. "Because I don't know when we'll be comfortable putting him on a plane." They were told even with Morgan well enough to go home, he could be susceptible to illness for some time. Harm didn't want to take unnecessary risks, despite how much he wanted the document stating Morgan was legally his child.

"They should be able to make some kind of an exception, since you are a military family. I will pull the necessary waivers and get them filed."

"Thank you, Lydia," Mac said softly.

"You can celebrate, Mac. You're in the homestretch," Lydia mentioned. "He's healthy and headed home. At this point, it's just a matter of finishing the paperwork."

"I just worry that some unknown relative is going to crawl out of the woodwork," Mac sighed.

"We did a thorough investigation, there is no family. And they did not address next of kin in either of their advanced directives. He's yours." She assured the mother.

Something about her statement triggered Harm's memory. "Lydia, what do we do if we encounter people who knew Morgan's biological parents?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with. It's not a closed adoption,"Lydia shrugged.

"Well, it turns out. I was supposed to be his mother's new commanding officer," he admitted.

"Oh wow," the woman blinked in surprise.

"Yeah, I just wasn't sure what I was able to tell them." He'd been putting off the conversation for weeks, but with Morgan finally coming home, he felt it was time to say_ something_.

"While I don't envy your situation. There is no conflict, legally. So it's up to you." She replied with a tight smile. Harm nodded his thanks. "I'm going to go back to my office to get that paperwork started. I will probably swing back by for signatures in a little bit if you're still around,"

"Thank you, we really appreciate it." Harm said, allowing her to take her leave. He looked down at the woman in his arms. Her eyes were lost somewhere in space and her teeth were worrying at her bottom lip.

"That was all good news, Mac," he whispered in her ear.

"What if something changes between now and the hearing," Mac mumbled.

"He's coming home with us in two days and we'll have his paperwork shortly after, I promise,"

"And you don't break promises," she replied before he could.

"That's right," he chuckled. She spun in his arms, hooking her hands behind his neck.

"Are you going to talk to your staff?" Her eyes sought out his. He's been anxious about this conversation since his first day. She's hoped finally being able to get it off his chest would help him settle into his new command.

"Since I was planning on taking a couple days leave, I thought it might be a good time to bring it up," he nodded. "Not really sure what to say except to be honest,"

"You'll know what to say when the time come," she smiled softly.

"Thank you," he whispered, giving her a quick kiss.

"For what?" Mac quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Being you. Being my wife," Harm replied, tugging her tighter against him and kissing her soundly.

* * *

Harm stood in the middle of the bullpen, all eyes turned towards him. He suddenly felt like he wanted to throw up. His eyes landed on the one familiar face in the crowd. Coates gave him a reassuring smile.

_You'll know what to say when the time come_s, Mac's voice whispered in his head. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders.

"As many of you are aware I am taking a couple days leave this week. What you don't know is why," he started. It felt all wrong and the looks of confusion and disinterest on his staff's faces said they felt the same. He shook his head and started again. "Look, I am not sure the best way to say this, so I am just going to say it and then I am going to leave my office door open so if anyone wants to come talk about it they can." He still saw a lot of confusion but had garnered a lot more attention. "I didn't actually come to London for this command post. I had intended to retire and follow my new wife to her posting in California. I ended up here because my wife and I are in the process of adopting a baby," A couple sets of eyes went round, realizing the implications of his statement. He nodded slowly. "It is Lieutenant Casey's baby. I was not aware she worked in this office until I received my paperwork on my first day. I know a lot of you were close to the Lieutenant so like I said I am available to answer any questions you may have. I can tell you, the baby was a boy, we've named him Morgan and he's coming home from the hospital tomorrow, so I am taking the rest of the week off to be with my family," Harm finished his announcement. He expected some sort of vocal reaction but instead was met with awkward silence and wide eyed stares. "Ok, well. I'll be in my office," he hooked his thumb over his shoulder and spun on his heel.

"Um, sir...Captain Rabb," A voice called after him. He turned back around. It was one of his clerks.

"Thank you for telling us. We've all been worried about the baby and I am glad to know he has a family," the woman stated, her cheeks flushing with emotion.

"We are very lucky to have him," Harm acknowledged. This time he took his leave for real, giving them all time to process.

* * *

Harm was in the process of clearing his desk and sorting through upcoming items, preparing for his hand off meeting in the day when a knock sounded at his door. He looked up to see one of the senior attorneys, Commander Jeremy Schuler standing in the door way.

"What can I do for you, Commander? You're a little early for hand off," he addressed the man.

"I appreciate you trusting me to run things while you're away."

Harm leaned back in his chair, relaxing his posture. "I've heard nothing but good things from your previous CO. I expect you can handle it." Commander Schuler nodded. "But I also know that's not why you're here. Have a seat," Harm gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. The commander afforded him a small smile and took a seat.

"I wanted to emphasize Lieutenant Ryann's earlier comment. I appreciate your candor about Lieutenant Casey's baby."

Harm nodded, his fingers pressing against his lips as he formulated the right response.

"The first thing you notice when you walk into this unit is the cohesiveness," he started. "I've been in the Navy a long time and I've noticed how rare it is to see a unit with that kind of camaraderie outside of the front lines. Without the need to literally have each other's back, it tends to fall to the wayside. However, in my time at JAG HQ, our unit was similar to this one. I mean, it's how I met my wife," he chuckled. His mind briefly shifted back to the people who had become closer than family over the last decade, even the more difficult ones. "My point is, it made us all better at our jobs, better sailors, and I'd like to think better people. I want to lead this unit in a way that fosters that environment and I can't do that with a lie. Even one of omission," he shrugged.

"I have a lot to learn from you," Commander Schuler noted, impressed with his new Captain.

"Hopefully, you're smart enough to not have to learn it all the hard way, like I did," Harm smirked. "Is that all?"

"Yes, sir," the young man got to his feet. "I will see you this afternoon for our debrief."

"Sounds good, dismissed," Harm allowed.


End file.
